'Plaint of the Playwright

'Plaint of the Playwright

[ Friday, October 03, 2003 ]

Y'know, sometimes, when I'm writing a show, I write pieces here and there and save them on different disks.

Then I lose those disks and have to start over.

Then, almost a year later, I find those disks and discover a totally different version of something I wrote.

This is how the "Lester's Lexus" monologue delivered by Lynn (played by Molly Vanderlin in the Broom Street production) in "Orange Murder Suit" originally began:

Okay. They say everyone’s got one good story in them, and flatter myself, I think this is mine.

I tend to think that I was in my teens up into my twenties. I kept my “green” face on, at all times.

You know what the “green” face is? You probably do it all the time, or did it, but you never called it that.

That’s because I made up the phrase.

At any rate, I was taking law classes at the University of Southern Illinois. I was in my early twenties, but, so far as I’m letting anyone know, I’m mentally seventeen.

I’m not proud of it, but there are days where I’m proud of what it got me. In the long run.

Anyway, the Green Face is that face you show when you’re new at the job. You show it so that people take it easy on you. So that they slow down when they talk. They no longer feel comfortable about using big words.

They let all sorts of really good information go when they think it’s going over your head.

I see you look at me a certain way. You’ve done it. You did it at the trial. Don’t bullshit a bullshitter, I mean, come on.

Anyway, University of Southern Illinois.

I used to hang with the grad students. The ones I thought were going places.

I know how this sounds, but it’s not as bad as all that. I really did like those guys, and I always made it aware that I just wanted a leg up.

So, I’d put the Green Face on: “And, what’s disclosure again?”

There was this one guy…Lester. Teddy bear of a guy. He was all smiles. I used to worry that he was going to get stepped on by all the cut-throats.

You know, the Natural Born Lawyers. Lester just seemed so nice.

But he was really smart. I mean, when he wasn’t talking, he was listening. And I mean really listening. That guy knew not only every fact that ever occurred in the courts, but could remember anything that anyone in his presence ever said.

It was almost scary.

He and I became friends—we used to stay up all hours of the night.

Now, this was nobody I was really interested in. I mean, he was nice, but, you know, he wasn’t someone I…I couldn’t see myself…

Aw, fuck, do I really have to say it? I wasn’t really interested, okay?


You need another? Because I could use another.

If I weren’t drunk I wouldn’t tell you this but right now I don’t give a fuck because I’m drunk, alright?

So Lester had a crush on me. And I knew it. I mean, I always acted, whenever I found out some guy liked me, really surprised—like “HE likes me? I’m so blown away! For how long?”

Shit, I knew. I knew before they did.

But being surprised gives you that out, y’know what I’m talking about? Yeah.

I actually kinda like this beginning, and may someday use it elsewhere. There's no saying Lynn won't return, either. I liked her, too.

posted by Rob on 12:33 PM | link



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